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Sunday was awful. As a non-Patriots fan living in Patriots country, there is nothing worse than having the Patriots win the Super Bowl. Not only is New England full of the worst sports fans in general, now you all get to be cocky about it, and nobody wants that.
Like seriously, we get it. The Patriots are the best football team of the past 16 years by a long shot. Tom Brady is probably the best quarterback of all time. Bill Belichick is a mastermind, and Matt Patricia is a genius. The point has been established.
But God damn it, we don’t need the gloating, the arrogance, and the self importance. No one cares that your quarterback served a stupid suspension for cheating and came back from it. No one cares that you stuck it to Roger Goodell. It’s really not that interesting.
Watching the Patriots come back against the Falcons was one of my worst memories of college. I was so excited to not have to hear people gloat or see bandwagon fans smile. But the football gods sided with the devil, the pretty boy, and our new president.
Plus: imagine all of the rap that would have come with an Atlanta Super Bowl. We could have gotten a new Ludacris album, maybe even another appearance from Outkast. At the very least we’d have some hot new Migos.
So I hope you’re happy Patriots fans, because the rest of us aren’t.