Clarkie of the Week: Sigmund Freud

Clarkie of the Week: Sigmund Freud
Clarkie of the Week: Sigmund Freud

The oldest surviving Clarkie, Sigmund Freud is a trademark of the Clark campus. A Psychology major and native Austrian, Sigmund has been the center of many photos and countless shenanigans over the 15 years he’s been here, although he did confess that he often feels like merely a “figurehead” for the University. Aside from his work as a founding father of modern psychology, in his free time Sigmund enjoys psychoanalyzing everyone who walks through Red Square.

Scarlet: What is it like to be the center of Clark’s campus?
Sigmund: I must say I did rather enjoy it for several years. However, having been here for 15 years now, it has become somewhat of a nuisance to my physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This is perhaps due to the fact that—

Scarlet: Would you mind talking in regular, modern-day English for the sake of this interview?
Sigmund: My b. Force of habit.

Scarlet: Cool, thanks. So do you enjoy having students pose with you for pictures all the time?
Sigmund: I’m pretty used to it at this point. It can be fun, I guess. I mean, every Saturday night there are at least five groups of students posing for pictures with me. What can I say, it makes me feel popular. Although it can get annoying, especially on Admitted Students’ Days when all these young kids and their parents act like they’ve never seen a guy sitting on a bench before. Like yeah, I’m here, get over it.

Scarlet: What about having people dress you up all the time? How do you feel about that?
Sigmund: I’m usually fine with it if it’s just a t-shirt or something. But sometimes people get really creative and, well, weird. One time I had a group of kids put a chicken hat on me. I know, right? I’ve worn other hats too, and I’ve had a number of stuffed animals on my head. Over the years I’ve worn Hawaiian leis, glow stick necklaces, flags as capes, cardboard signs, knitted sweaters, yarmulkes, sports jerseys…. I mean what the hell, gotta mix up your fashion every now and then. Especially having worn this suit for so long. One time last year when it snowed a ton, I was covered up to my waist in that stuff. People built mini snowmen all around me, which was kinda nice because I got to share the spotlight for once. Oh, and another time, I think it was this past fall, a ton of people came running out of nowhere and started jumping all around me cheering about some red socks or something. That was strange. I think it can be linked to the Oedipus complex.

Scarlet: How do you feel about being Clark’s “claim to fame?”
Sigmund: It’s a bit much. I mean, I came here once to give one speech like over one hundred years ago and now you worship me. Get over it.

Scarlet: What do you think of the 24-hour live webcam that looks out on Red Square?
Sigmund: It’s mad creepy. Like come on, you already have me sitting here 24/7, and now you have a camera so you can watch me all the time? #whyyousoobsessedwithme

Scarlet: Aren’t you tired of sitting in that position?
Sigmund: No. I have my cane here to help me, see? It’s chill.

Scarlet: It’s not frustrating having to look in one direction day and night?
Sigmund: One Direction? Oh my gosh. LOVE them. Such a huge fan. I tear up every time I hear “Story of My Life.” It’s just like, yaaassss! So good! I can’t even.

Scarlet: I was asking if it’s boring having to look in the same direction all the time.
Sigmund: Oh. Sorry. No, it’s not boring. I enjoy it. At this point I have a pretty good mental map of this part of Main Street. I got a great view of that church demolition. It was about time they took that thing down! I’ve been saying it for years man, religion is just an illusion. Maybe reason will finally triumph. Although I am still doubtful. But yo, shout out to all my Jew homies! Lovin’ how many of us there are at Clark. #represent

Scarlet: Since you got here in 1999, how many times do you think you have read that book you’re holding?
Sigmund: About 867 times.

Scarlet: What is your favorite spot on campus?
Sigmund: Me.

Thanks for the interview, Sigmund!