Five court cases to make you happy you’re still in college

By Emily Newton
Scarlet Staff

Baby Monkey

If you haven’t seen the baby monkey riding on pig video on youtube, you’re missing out. But what about a baby monkey tucked in a bra video? Luckily this video does not exist, however the event did occur in a courthouse in Virginia.

A woman brought her seven week old monkey into court because it requires constant attention. Even more, nobody even noticed the monkey until she went to complete some paperwork. She tells officials she bought the monkey online and has specially made clothes for the animal.

Excrement

When a man went on trial for a robbery, burglary, and assault charges, he decided to do the unthinkable. Instead of sitting in court and taking his sentence of 31 years in prison like a man, he sneaked in a bag of his own feces.
After hearing the sentence, he threw it at the jurors (it hit one jurors computer case) and smeared it all over his lawyer. After the event, news came about that the man suffers from mental illness.

Bad Thumb

Cedrick Makara sued a reality company after getting caught in the bathroom. He said that the bathroom door had no knob, and instead had a hole where the knob should have been. As he placed his hand through the hole to open the door, another patron put his hand on the other side.

This severely injured his thumb and he said that he needed surgery to fix the thumb. He has been awarded $3 million as a result of the case.

Hall Pass

When an elementary school student was running to catch his bus after school, he accidentally ran into one of his teachers. The teacher claims that the 11-year-old student carelessly knocked over his teacher, and is suing for medical care.

The student is saying that it was an honest accident; he has already apologized for the incident and cried when he found out the teacher had been hurt. This has been one of the first cases in which a student was sued by a teacher.

Audience Participation

Be careful next time you pick someone for audience participation. Oscar Novick of New York is suing a Dinner Theater because he was cajoled to dance with one of the entertainers. He originally declined the dance, but after his wife’s encouragement, he went for it.

The 69-year-old man was dancing with the woman when she suddenly dropped him. The result was a fractured ankle, not to mention the great embarrassment at the hall and at the hospital. The man is seeking $5.5 million in injuries.