Part One: Republican Debate Night Funnies
Hey, goofy goobers and political science majors its been a while since the publication of the article: “The Republican Power Rankings” and since then things have gotten real. Of course, I must say I am deeply embarrassed that I gave Vivek Ramaswamy such a low score given he is around third place in some polls and has released genius policy proposals such as raising the age to vote to 25. This policy is definitely one of the greatest ideas of all time I sincerely hope this man wins so I can fulfill my life goal of living in a country with taxation without representation.
In the second GOP debate I expected the candidates come out swinging but I found this round of the race for the (2nd place) Republican nomination to be more monotone than the previous fight. Perhaps it was Asa Hutchinson? I really missed him on this debate stage that spectacular governor from um… uh… (wait who is he again?) Despite the lackluster entertainment there were certainly some good moments, so today we’re going to be counting down the top 5 funniest moments at the second Republican debate night.
- Now listen no hate to my man Vivek but he sure does come across as a smug asshole. This was seen in our first debate night funny in which Tim Scott who is still in the race for some reason GRILLED Ramaswamy for his ties with the Communist Party of China. Ramswammy threw a tantrum over such an accusation and complained Tim Scott was talking over him which I will admit he certainly was but hearing Ramaswamy complain is always funny. Tim Scott also claimed that Ramaswamy was funded by a Hunter Biden aligned businesses. The obsession with Hunter Biden is definitely one of the Republican’s craziest talking points, especially because he never appears on the media or in public life whatsoever. He’s just some guy who happens to be Dark Brandon’s son.
- Very hot take but how come none of these lamestream media commentators were talking about the huge plane that was towering over everybody. This plane was clearly a metaphor for something but what it was is still a mystery. I was watching the movie Metropolis the other day which is filled with metaphors, but even then I was still thinking about that plane.
- Tiktok: “the most DANGEROUS social media apps” is certainly one of the statements of all time. This is a quote from Nikki Haley who was one of many people on the debate stage to attack Ramaswamy on the issue of China. Ramaswamy has branded himself as the “anti neocon” candidate in the Republican field. With policies such as not supporting Taiwan in the event of an invasion by Mainland China once the U.S. has been reliant on semiconductors which according to many experts would be near impossible before 2030. Ramaswamy went on to create his own TikTok where he engages in typical Republican behavior such as complaining about wokeness and promoting so called “Judeo-Christian values.”
- Mike Pence made an interesting comment regarding his wife saying that he hadn’t slept with a member of the teachers union but he had been sleeping with a teacher for 38 years (his wife). Honestly, when I heard that live I wondered whether he had come up with that on the spot or if he had rehearsed because it was probably the most out of left field things he has ever said.
- “Mexican 9/11?” That is something I thought I would never hear anybody say but of course it was the Republican debate so anything is possible. This is definitely the worst part of the debate but it showed the true stupidity of the brand of fascism many of these people subscribe to. Nikki Haley is probably the worst on this issue given she said that she had a plan to stop all trade with China until they handled their fentanyl problem; one of the most ridiculous statements ever given the world economy would crash if we just abruptly ended all trade relations. Not only that, but Haley also recommended we stop this by launching a “special operation” against Mexico. This sounds a bit too familiar but perhaps Nikki Haley is trying to be the avant garde fascist and shifting some of her policies to be of the Russian imperialist thought instead of the American imperialist thought.
Part 2: McCarthy Ousted!
In a twist that has shocked both the nation and the Republican Party the speaker of the House of Representatives was ousted for the first time in U.S. history. This dramatic showdown was launched by congressman Matt Gaetz who represents Florida’s first district. Gaetz has always been described as one of the more far right individuals of congress because of his loyalty to Donald Trump and peddling of election conspiracies, inviting a white supremacist to the state of the union, and for some reason not condemning the 2021 Myanmar coup d’etat. Over the past month the house has been scrambling to avert a government shutdown something which some Republicans wanted to do in order to get the budget they wanted. House Speaker McCarthy however,calculated that a government shutdown would only hurt Republicans and making a deal with the Democrats would be the best option.
On September 30th the house made a deal that temporarily avoided a government shutdown for 45 days in order to buy time to continue negotiations on a final resolution. Gaetz had always been a critic of McCarthy starting at the beginning of 2023. When Republicans narrowly won the house Gaetz and a handful of other Republicans refused to vote for him until he gave into there demands. After one of the longest voting processes for speaker in history McCarthy submitted to their demands. However, the deal that McCarthy made with the Democrats seemed to be the final straw for Gaetz as on October 3rd a motion to remove the speaker was passed in a coalition between the Democrats and the anti-McCarthy Republicans.
McCarthy did not survive and was the first speaker in US history to be ousted. This shocking turn of events has caused chaos within the Republican caucus regarding what to do going forward. Many Republicans have thrown their hat into the ring including House Majority Leader Steve Scalise and ultraconservative Jim Jordan. Matt Gaetz himself might also run but he lacks the support of the Republican caucus given the only reason his plan worked was because the Democrats helped them. At the moment the house remains in limbo and many expect an even more chaotic election for the next speaker but regardless of what happens this event has shown that despite near unity on backing Trump for president the party is still heavily divided.