Please Don’t Destroy — The Original Princes of Comedy (Episode 1—Pete Davidson)

This is the sketch that made me think of writing this article, back in October. Please Don’t Destroy, composed of three SNL writers, link up with host Pete Davidson for this stylized spoof of the ‘90s comedy scene. Upon learning about Davidson’s history as a teenage standup, each member of PDD reveals that they were all stars of the Def Jam Comedy series (admittedly I had to look it up: they highlighted upcoming comedians on HBO from 1992-1997). Then they toss to their “younger” selves — crass, brash comedians unafraid to talk about adult subjects. Smoke Dog, J.D., and Big Mart-Mart are undeniable cultural icons. Stay tuned for the John Mulaney cameo!

Best Line From the Sketch: “If God wanted me to eat that, he would’ve put it in a Lunchable!” 

Weekend Update: Remember Lizards on Being a Backup Musical Guest (Episode 5 — Jason Momoa)

Since the days of Jason Sudeikis and Will Forte’s Jon Bovi sketches, musical pairings at the Weekend Update desk are pretty rare. James Austin Johnson and Andrew Dismukes come in as Remember Lizards, SNL’s supposed “backup musical guest,” and perform a few of their tunes. They are NOT like Imagine Dragons, they insist, but treat us to such uplifting songs as “Charged Up,” “Chemical (Poison),” and the decidedly Christian finisher of “We Love Jesus and Lava.” Johnson does live guitar playing, and both have pretty rocky voices. I remember the Lizards—let’s hope these guys do too next season.

Best Line: When asked what genre of music they play: [in unison] “Uplifting kid-friendly hip hop/arena rock with a pump-up edge.”

Home Videos (Episode 10 — Dakota Johnson)

(SPOILER)

I put the spoiler tag since I think it’s best to watch this one before you know the twist of the sketch (there are multiple). Young adult David (Andrew Dismukes) finds his parents’ (Dakota Johnson and Mikey Day) home videos, and he excitedly puts on the VHS the day his father “found out I was going to be a daddy.” The trouble begins when it turns out that that moment happened during a Paternity Dispute-themed episode of the Corey Dervich show, a send-up of “Maury” and “Jerry Springer”-type daytime TV. Bonus points for Marcello Hernandez’s Zach “Spooky” Barbacano, who enters telling the audience to shut up—then, when it’s revealed he isn’t the father, exclaims “God is real, y’all!” 

Best Line: “I just wanna say one thing, I just wanna say ONE THING—she a hoe!”

Fugliana (Episode 12 — Shane Gillis)

This is the type of sketch where the minute the punchline is revealed, I think: “Sarah Sherman wrote this.” And so it went that Shane Gillis awkwardly trudged over to Sherman frozen in a box as Fugliana, who “may not be the doll you want, but honey, she’s the doll you deserve.” Heidi Gardner, Punkie Johnson, and Chloe Fineman also trot out their own Fuglianas (each time the word is said it’s accompanied by a Ferris Bueller-type sting), who are all willing to get the job done for minimal reward. There’s also a fun moment at the end where Sherman’s doll comes alive, which from my observation was improvised. SNL is at its best when they let they let their resident body horror comedian get as crazy and out-there as her imagination permits. 

Best Line: “Let’s make this quick, that Wawa sushi is about to make me paint your tank.”

Papyrus 2 (Episode 17 — Ryan Gosling)

In an attempt to get us unruly students to be engaged, my first-year English teacher in high school put on the 2017 sketch Papyrus. It was that day we were introduced to Steven Wingdings (then unnamed), a man unhealthily obsessed with Avatar’s graphic design team’s decision to put the title font in Papyrus. I was watching this episode as it aired and noted that they could not air this during the show, and instead advertised that it would be on social media afterward. Imagine my thrill to see a nearly seven-minute-long sketch, as many years after the original, that still has the attention to detail, righteous anger, and surprising wholesomeness of the first. Perhaps it was a fitting touch that this marked the return of cast member Kyle Mooney, whose sketches nearly always got cut before airing and were instead posted online afterward. His character, along with Gosling’s, gets the emotional arc that the first installment denied them. Better than the original? Up for debate. But it certainly earned the right to carry the torch of font-based indignation. 

Best Line: (in tears) “My dad was so hard to read!”