This story was originally published in print, on April 9th, 2024, in the Satire Edition of the Scarlet, the Shartlet.

Clark students may have been excited to see popular indie band Laundry Day on the big Spree Day stage today, but in the eleventh hour, Clark administration is looking for a replacement.

After many of Laundry Day’s TikToks have gone viral, they have decided that music is not as lucrative of a business as social media could be.

You may know Laundry Day from their TikTok with 1.4 million likes in which vocalist Jude Ciulla-Lipkin parodied the viral song “I Wouldn’t Mind” by He Is We, singing, “Merrily we snort up these lines/up these lines./I’m locked with my brothers/and we’re vibing every night.”

After the band’s TikTok, @daundrylay, blew up due to similar comedic videos that often incorporate their musical talents, Laundry Day has decided to focus on their newfound social media fame.

Vocalist Sawyer Nunes stated, “Well, music is cool and all, but more people know us from our TikToks, like the Mk.Gee impression one and stuff. Like, we’re getting all these offers for sponsorships… we figure, why not pursue TikTok instead?”

Hopefully, the Office of Student Life and Programming can pull in another indie pop band full of white dudes for the Clark student body to enjoy. 

“The music doesn’t even have to be good – like, I’m not gonna be… ya know, like, in the state of mind to analyze the music, if you know what I mean,” said one disappointed student.