This story was originally published in print, on April 9th, 2024, in the Satire Edition of the Scarlet, the Shartlet.

The end date for the construction on the Goddard Library has been delayed… again. Luckily,  there’s the silver lining: with the upper levels of the building being unusable, the lack of space to get work done gives students the perfect opportunity to procrastinate! Because how can Clarkies possibly be expected to study and type essays when there are no desks?

Flo, a senior, says, “When it comes to studying, I’m always working hard, or possibly hardly working. The lack of available study rooms gives me the perfect excuse to scroll on my phone. So instead of being productive, I’m checking Instagram and TikTok between classes.” 

Certainly, these scrolling habits we’re so prone to have everything to do with the construction and are completely unrelated to being overwhelmed college students with too many commitments and not enough hours to sleep. 

It’s definitely the construction! And with the way this project keeps getting dragged out, time is on our side – the administration can’t seem to hurry up. So, to anyone who can’t put their phone down when they should be studying, just blame the construction!