I did not have an easy summer. I lost someone important in my life in June and as much as I’d like to say I had a hot girl summer after that, I didn’t. I had a sad girl summer. I lived by myself the entire summer on a somewhat isolated island, and cried myself to sleep most nights despite having a great job in a beautiful location. Ironically, even though I’m starting my last semester of college, this summer felt a lot like my first semester of college. Freshman year is difficult for everyone (yes, even the people posting a bajillion pictures with their new friends), and it can feel like you’re completely alone even if you’re surrounded by a campus full of new people. There are very few resources out there for this feeling, and I did endless amounts of googling that got me nowhere. I’m going to share some of the tips that helped me get through a myriad of tough moments this summer. Hopefully, if you’re a freshman (or honestly anyone) and you’re in a tough spot you can draw on these strategies to get through the feeling.

Get a night light (or twinkle lights or ceiling stars)

One of the hardest parts of this summer for me was having my mind race every time I had a quiet moment, especially right before falling asleep. I found that having on a string of twinkle lights while I was going to bed made things feel a lot less lonely. Whatever was bothering me, the soft light made my room feel less empty. If you’re having a difficult time at night I’d suggest looking on Amazon (which yes, ethically isn’t great but it’s cool to have two day shipping when you need a night light so you can sleep well) for a night light, twinkle lights or even those glow-in-the-dark star stickers.

Call or message actually everyone you’ve ever known

The first few weeks after the loss were incredibly difficult, as are the first few weeks after any big life change. I was barely making it through the day, spending a lot of time crying in the bathroom at work and then collapsing in bed when I made it home. To feel less alone, I would text or call people. These small points of contact were incredibly important in getting me through the first month. You don’t necessarily have to tell the person how you’re feeling; just having a conversation with someone, especially someone you might not consistently talk to is powerful. There are more people out there supporting you than you know!

Eat ‘easy’ foods

When I am in any kind of emotional turmoil, I’m immediately nauseous. It’s important during times like this to eat foods that are easy to eat. Personally, I like to eat foods that are either pre-prepared (frozen burritos, boxed mac and cheese), drinkable (smoothies) or my favorite foods (sushi is a big one for me here). It’s also a lot easier to eat and drink when you aren’t alone, so invite a roommate, sit near other people or FaceTime your mom. Whatever works.

Listen to podcasts

When you’re really not feeling it, it’s perfectly okay to just put one Apple Airpod in and go about your daily life listening to podcasts. The constant talking helped me to not feel alone, provided me with a distraction and by the end of the summer I’d learned about the guy who stole Einstein’s brain (G: Relative Genius – Radiolab), how casinos are the best place to go into cardiac arrest (How to Save a Life – Radiolab) and Bibb County, Alabama (S-Town). Podcasts will set you free in a way music may not.

Lean into routines

A saving grace for me was falling back on my daily routines. When you feel like you can’t do anything, it’s nice to have a set ‘schedule’ (waking up, going on a walk, having breakfast, going to work, etc) to keep you moving. My hardest times were right when I woke up and before I went to bed, so my morning and bedtime routines were incredibly important for me.

Sit in public places or go on a walk

I spent a lot of time alone in my room both during freshman year and this summer, which almost always made me feel worse. One way to mitigate this is to force yourself to go out. Just sitting in a public area and being around people can completely change how you feel and cut through that sense of isolation. Another great way to do this is to take a walk around campus. Directing your attention to what’s going on around you combined with movement can make feelings feel all the less intense.

Plan something fun

I spent all summer planning out what I am going to do after graduation, which really helped to get me through. During my freshman year of college, I bought concert tickets for a concert that was happening in a couple months, and used that as a motivator. It doesn’t have to be something big or far away to work; you can plan to get a croissant after class or call a friend and have that be a bright spot to help you get through the day.