Dear Love Bug,

First of all, there is no such thing as “too much” love. 

Really, what is the difference between platonic and romantic love? Don’t they all start with an infatuation of sorts? I constantly tell my friends I’m “in love with them,” despite harboring no romantic or sexual feelings for them. I just love them so much, and when we started hanging out, I was falling in love with them. 

We prioritize romantic relationships so much that we believe friendships are less important or significant (like when we say “more than friends,” we seem to state that we think friends feel “less” for each other than their romantic counterparts). Some movies I love that touch on this subject are “Frances Ha” (2012) and “Sweethearts” (2024). Highly recommend watching them.

If we want to normalize platonic love, we have to stop assuming that romantic and sexual relationships are somehow inherently more intense or meaningful than friendships.

Look up anti-hierarchical practices and relationship anarchy.

xoxo,

Miss Guided

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Dear Pensively Puzzled & Promiscuous,

This age gap is very troubling. She is older and should know better. You are at such different points in your lives, and the power imbalance is crazy bad. Maybe talk to someone, like a friend or trusted adult.

Besides that already deal-breaking detail, you should never have to beg someone to be with you. If she is consistently dodging the question of exclusivity, unfortunately, that means she is not interested in exclusivity. 

With all the love in the world: girl, get up.

You deserve better. Someone nicer. And younger! As in, your age! 

You deserve to be with someone that is excited at the prospect of being with you and only you, not someone who changes the subject and tries to distract you from your (very valid) concerns. 

You can do this! 

xoxo,

Miss Guided

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Dear Fearful in February,

Oof, I’ve been there. My preferred course of action is baby steps. It’s so important that we get rid of our “all or nothing” mentalities. All they do is make everything more difficult.

For example, the other day I didn’t do my readings. I really, really wanted to skip the class, because I was so ashamed that I hadn’t done them. Thankfully I realized that line of thinking was very “all or nothing” (and does nothing to help) and so I got dressed and went to class. Was I a little confused by what we were talking about? Yes. But the important part was that I was there. That was my baby step for the day.

Whatever a small step might look like for you, take it. Don’t focus on getting to the end, just keep your focus on the next thing. This is like a muscle, and the more you exercise it, the easier it gets. I promise. 

Visit your professor’s office hours (turn on the tears if you have to), tell them you’re struggling but are trying your best. Tell your friends you need some more support this semester. Maybe set up a meeting at CPG.

You are trying, and that is the most important part of all this. You can do hard things, and all setbacks are temporary.

xoxo, 

Miss Guided

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Dear Bye Relationship… Hello Meaningless Hookups,

I’ve heard Hinge and Tinder are great places to start. Be safe and have fun!!

xoxo,

Miss Guided