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Spree Day Editorial from the Supreme Leader
Nicholas Brunelle
, Unpaid Intern
May 5, 2024
We are Saddened to Announce the Passing of one of David Fithian’s Horses
Alistair Borg
, Graphic Design is My Passion
May 5, 2024
Jonas the Cougar Bites Child, Put Down
Unknown Reporter
, Keeper
May 5, 2024
Dodd student fights Laundry War
Ava Orofino
, Bisexual-in-Chief-Elect
May 5, 2024
Library Construction Gives Clarkies a Reason to Procrastinate
Olivia Case
, Probably Procrastinating
May 5, 2024
Oblivious AC Dweller Unaware World is Ending Outside
Gabe Schmick
, Unpaid Intern
May 5, 2024
Lego Movie is Most Terrifying Film of the Century
Paddington Wetlaufer
, Unpaid Intern
May 5, 2024
RLH Email Replies Revealed to Be Outsourced to Typing Sloth
Cyd Abnet
, Social Chair
May 5, 2024
SCANDAL: Robert Goddard’s Ghost Caught Stealing Souls of First-Years
Sophia Lindstrom
, Poos Editor
May 5, 2024
Spree Day Concert Canceled After Band Drops Out to Pursue TikTok
Nic Smith
, Farts Editor
May 5, 2024
Missing Sophomore Found 2 Weeks Later in J.S.C.
Abbi Gilbert
, Unpaid Intern
May 5, 2024
Time Capsule Opened to Reveal Freud’s Cocaine Stash
Weslee Tyler
, Unpaid intern
May 5, 2024
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