Content Warning: Sex

As we all know, the TikTok algorithm is catered to the individuals’ experience. I am not sure how this happened, but I’ve ended up on Brigham Young University (BYU) Tiktok. The video that set me on this trail was posted by user @funeralpotatoslut. The video was of “funeralpotatoslut” jumping up and down on a bed. In the bed appears to be two bodies under the covers. The caption: “When your bestie is called to soak in a BYU dorm and you have to jump hump for her.” This video went viral and led to the concept of “soaking” becoming common vocabulary.

For those who do not know, soaking is when someone inserts their penis into their partner’s vagina without thrusting, “marinating” the penis in vaginal fluid without creating any friction. In other words, a penis just chills in a vagina without movement.  “No moving, no thrusting, and no orgasms,” as stated by Gary Knauer in the Post. It is something commonly done by Mormon teens expected to remain virgins until marriage.  Soaking (or marinating), according to Mormonism, does not count as sex. Thus, for movement, they ask a friend to jump on the bed to create a sex-like movement called “jump humping.” 

This concept is not new. One of the earliest mentions of “soaking” was posted to the Newschoolers forum in 2009. The original poster described it as a great bonding experience that still allows Mormons to go to heaven. This led to Urban Dictionary defining the term under the name “dick soak” on October 15 of the same year. Eventually, it was simplified to “soaking” on July 14, 2011. It became a popular topic of interest again after a Barstool Sports video about it was posted in 2019. Barstool Sports went to BYU and asked students if they knew about soaking. Most students heard about or know someone who has done it. Additionally, they asked a sex therapist in Salt Lake City, Utah to define it. The sex therapist, Braxton Dutson, explained soaking through brewing a cup of tea. The teabag represented the “penis,” while the hot water was the “vulva.” The “teabag” is put into the “hot water” and it is left to “steep.” 

Braxton Dutson continues on to explain the Chuch of Latter-Day Saints’ message about sex. The Church believes one should stay abstinent until marriage. The Church also believes that the body is a gift from God to be cared for and respected, not to be polluted or abused. According to the modern code, “mormons should abstain from coffee and tea, alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs.” The reason for coffee and tea is because the original document warned against drinking any hot beverages, though over time has come to mean only hot beverages containing caffeine. As we all know, caffeine and sex entice teens away from God. 

Caffeine and sex are two things banned on BYU’s campus. Brigham Young University is a private university in Utah founded by Mormon religious leader, Brigham Young, and sponsored by The Church of Jesus-Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS). Students who attend BYU are obligated to follow an explicit honor code. This honor code was adopted from the Church Education System (CES) Honor Code which outlines a set of standards by which followers of the LDS church are required to live. In the honor code, there are mentions of sexual relations as well as abstention of alcoholic beverages. BYU’s honor code also mentions the avoidance of profane language, the participation of church services, and the observation of BYU’s dress and grooming standards. The dress and grooming standard expects men and women to always be modest, neat, and clean. For men, clothing is inappropriate when it is sleeveless, revealing, or form fitting. They must be clean-shaven and earrings/other body piercings are not acceptable. For women, clothing is inappropriate when it is sleeveless, staples, backless or revealing. Excessive ear piercings and other body piercings are not acceptable. As shown, there is a very strict gender binary. The honor code only mentions men and women with no room for stretch.

As college students know, rules are usually meant to be broken. Thus, loopholes are commenced. These loopholes include oral sex, anal sex, as well as, the article suggests, soaking. These rules have even inspired a common catchphrase among BYU students: “oral is moral.”

Circling back to soaking, the Church is concerned about the ramifications of these actions. Unfortunately, as expected, these ramifications do not affect men and women the same. The concern is centered in that women can become “unworthy” and “impure” of participating in religious rituals and result in unwanted pregnancy. Additionally, “forgiveness” comes much easier to men who participated in soaking rather than women who would be viewed as unclean. 

BYU is soaking up more than just loopholes – they’re soaking up old age gender divisions.