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Jacob Goldman, Scarlet Staff

With the suspenseful Super Bowl LVII Game between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Philadelphia Eagles, over a hundred million people watched the game with great eagerness. Some people watched to sing along with Rihanna in her impressively red-tinged half-time show. However, if you are like me, you watched the game for only one reason: the commercials. These 30-second events, where some of our biggest companies and conglomerates throw millions of dollars at the wall to see what sticks, are for me the greatest draw of any Super Bowl. Now, with the game finished and only one more question on our minds, today we are here to answer just how much this money did in fact stick to the wall for some of these commercials.

But first, some light ground rules. Not every Super Bowl game is played the same, and neither are their advertisements. When it comes to commercials you can expect to see on this list, you will not find a couple of things:

  • Movie trailers: these aren’t often designed to be shown specifically at the Super Bowl— only as much money as a normal movie trailer is put into them. Besides, they usually are not all that funny.
  • Network advertisements: Commercials for future sports events or television shows on the broadcast networks do not count, since they are almost never tailored to the Super Bowl itself and are instead designed to be advertised throughout the month.
  • Local advertisements: I just want the commercials I like most to be the same ones someone in, say, Oregon, loves as well.
  • And finally, while I do love some of the more whole-hearted commercials, like those of Amazon, Disney, and The Farmer’s Dog, I want to focus more on those intended to make people laugh.

And with that, let us get on with the rankings:

  1. Avocados from Mexico – Make it Better

To be quite honest, I don’t really want to put this advertisement much higher than it is. It’s not all that creepy, per se, but I certainly don’t want the scrutiny of others should I choose to rank this commercial any higher than it is. That said, the thought of a society where we can happily coexist is a pleasant thought; alongside this, people being unashamed and accepting of our own bodies is certainly an ideal to strive for. The depictions of Adam and Eve, and for some reason a talking gopher, really adds a level of strangeness to this ad. It’s certainly odd, and it’s a cute idea, and it tickles me in a certain way that I really don’t want to expand on. I think it’s best said to move on from here, and maybe have some avocados along the way.

  1. GM x Netflix – Why Not an EV?

At this point in his career, Will Ferrell is just existing. He exists in so many movies, as so many beloved characters, and as so many equally unbeloved characters, that he is perfect for such a commercial. He took me on a guided tour consisting simply of Will Ferrell just existing for a couple of minutes. During this journey, I saw him in situations as varied as a zombie apocalypse, as well as crossovers with “Bridgerton,” “Squid Game” and “Stranger Things.” All of this in a commercial that is as varied as it is existing. 

  1. Pringles – Best of Us

Pringles are always good to eat, and their commercials are no different. While this style of commercial is quite old, as getting your hand stuck within a Pringles can has been a bane on mankind for millennia at this point, seeing celebrities such as Meghan Trainor alongside pre-born babies getting their hands stuck in those infernal tubes is quite funny. This commercial proves that the curse of the Pringle is sure to last forever.

  1. TUBI – Rabbit Holes

Tubi is perhaps more well known for its unusual advertising methods than they are for the quality of their streaming service. This Super Bowl has proved them no different. Between the creepy bunnies, which follow the recent trend of Winnie the Pooh and the Grinch by turning the Easter Bunny/ Bugs Bunny into a horror film pitch, as well as the freakishly giant carrot, I fail to see how the commercial was a good advertising tool for the company. However, it had the right amount of weirdness throughout all the commercials, which is something I personally value more than anything else. Plus, the audacity for Tubi to trick pretty much everybody that they had sat on their remotes has been unparalleled in the medium. I’m not sure I want to see more ads like these.

  1. Doritos – A Triangle in the Wind

Doritos is a company more well known than any other for how “out there” so many of their Super Bowl commercials are. This year, the snack company went on a deep-dive in revolutionizing how humans think about a very simple shape. The triangle, a very under-appreciated instrument in the lexicon of music, is given the spotlight here. And the spotlight is real- very real. Jack Harlow takes the triangle from its humblest beginnings to the hands of a true maestro: Elton. It’s a great hero’s journey if I’ve ever seen one.

  1. Squarespace – The Singularity

After seeing this commercial for the website builder Squarespace, I really want to see a Matrix movie starring Adam Driver. Seeing this completely unemotional actor, who is even more known for his stoic attitude than Keanu ever was, and seeing him playing such a silly role so straight is amazing. The commercial is emblematic of a person’s mind splitting into a million pieces over a complete lack of understanding of a given subject (college, am I right?). The commercial is so funny, and trippy, that it’s downright serious about itself.

  1. Coors Light… No, it’s Miller Light… no wait, it was Blue Moon the whole time!

What is to me the most audacious commercial of the game, just trumping Tubi’s daringness, was the culmination of the war that only ever seems to occur with these beer brands. The idea that Coors and Miller are always just about to engage in a climactic fight only for (spoilers) Blue Moon to take the cake for itself is such an original idea and left me second-guessing my every prediction for the ad. It was surprising, funny, and the fighting choreography wasn’t half bad, to boot.

  1. Pepsi Zero – Great Acting or Great Taste?

Whoever came up with the idea to pit Ben Stiller and Steve Martin, two of this generation’s most iconic comedy actors, against each other probably just found a promotion. These two, besides being excellent actors, find themselves in such ridiculous positions that you can’t help but wonder what exactly describes the kind of acting that these two are engaged in. That is to say, I leave it up to the viewer, and by extension the entire internet, to engage in their own war to figure out which one is the best “actor” comedian. I’m personally on Team Steve Martin.

  1. Dunkin’ – Boston Ben’s Drive-Thru

The only reason this commercial isn’t number one is that it would have been perfect with the company’s old name (I’m still bitter about that one). However, filming this fantastic series of commercials in my home state of Massachusetts was the cherry on top for me. Seeing Affleck and J.Lo together in an effort to cheer up this state was truly heartwarming. Affleck’s background in acting doesn’t hurt the comedy of the commercial one bit.

  1. Popcorners – Break into Something Good

“I am the one who pops!” – Walter White, probably

This is probably just my bias for this great tv show speaking, but this was honestly a joy of a commercial to watch. Seeing the old actors back in the roles that made them iconic, peddling the blue chips and selling them to the highest bidder, is the stuff that dreams are made of. It was the commercial that I was most hyped for going into the Super Bowl, and boy, did it deliver. In a word, Popcorners x Breaking Bad was tight. Tight, tight, tight, tight, tight, tight.